Wednesday, October 04, 2017

Future Me

The other day I stumbled across a blogpost that mentioned a site called 'Future Me' where people would post entries, addressed to their future selves. I've never thought much of this concept, although I've heard of many people doing it before. Tonight I find myself joining them, and writing a letter to my future self. 

Becca, 

It's October 2017. 

You have never felt more alone than this moment, in your life. 

It really doesn't make any sense. If you describe your life to anyone, it seems picture perfect with what you have achieved, what you are doing and the people you have around you. That's probably also the reason why you feel like you can't talk to anybody about this without seeming spoilt or ignorant. 

'This moment' has been carrying on for quite a while now. You thought it was your corporate job that made you feel this way, since the corporate world stands against everything you believe in. You were in it for so long that you really thought it was the root of your problems. So you quit. Or as you like to see it, you liberated yourself. You found yourself in a job that you had described as what you always wanted - a simple, easy job that didn't need a lot of commitment so that you had time to be yourself and pursue interests outside of work; it's close by which means you can walk to and from work whilst listening to your language learning tapes; the people you work with are incredibly nice and positive people to be around; and you are still adding value to other peoples' lives. It was the perfect stepping stone out of the corporate world without steering away from an office environment.

But see, that's part of the problem. Because the first thing you chose to talk about in this entry is your job. You have always carried the notion that a job is what you do, not who you are. But you feel like that's all there is to you now. 

Although you have more time than ever before working your corporate job, you still feel so lifeless. You come home every day and feel like the life has been literally and physically sucked out of you. You're so tired, and as cliche as it sounds, so tired of being tired. 

You've always had an obsessive personality and you throw yourself into anything that makes you happy. You've always liked that about yourself but now it seems kind of detrimental. There's no push behind the force. It's just kind of lingering; the things you daydream about are not thought of because they illuminate something within you. Rather, it's more just because the thought is there. And instead of dancing with your daydreams, you sluggishly pull yourself along with your thought, waiting for the clock to strike 5:30pm so you can 'be yourself' again. Whoever that is. 

You began this post with the intention of spilling out your feelings so that they were no longer in your head, and ending it on a positive note, as you have always done with journalling. You write out what you're feeling to try and make sense of it all, and then you would write an action on how you are going to make it better. 

But tonight, there is no anecdote. You feel alone, and stale, and so utterly lifeless. 

What happened to the colourful you who danced in place of walking? 

Whenever you may read this in the future, I hope you're you again. I hope you're living in Europe, or Hawaii, or New York like you've always dreamed. I hope you marvel at food again. I hope you wake up smiling, blinded by the sun and hugged by the heat. I hope you found your song again, and you dance. I hope you found your smile again, and let it stem from every cell within your body. I hope you take photographs again, and sing again, and feel again and love again. 

Bisous. 


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Oahu, Hawaii
Tuesday, September 05, 2017

Oahu, Hawaii

 Oh, beautiful Oahu. How you take my breath away. 

Oahu was something I'd never knew I needed, and something I long to return to. I don't feel like words can describe how much I love Hawaii.. it has a magical feeling that can only be understood once you're there, experiencing it for yourself. There are no words that can do it justice. 

Here are some of my highlights:
1 & 2/ A gift from Oahu. 
3 & 4/ The most incredible delight from Banan! (A must try)
5 & 6/ Koko Head Trail
7/ Hanauma Bay views
8 & 9/ Moped fun to Manoa Falls!

If you're ever thinking of going to Hawaii, stop thinking and just do it.


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Big Island, Hawaii
Tuesday, September 05, 2017

Big Island, Hawaii

Our time in Big Island was short and sweet. We were there for two nights and three days. I was surprised by the Big Island. It was quite different from Maui in that it was a lot more residential, and more low-key. I can't really put my finger on what it was, but it was probably my least favourite island of the three we visited (Maui, Big Island and Oahu).

These were a few highlights from our time on the Big Island:
1/ The beautiful pristine water view from Maui to the Big Island.
2/ The incredible Akaka Falls.
3/ Beautiful, tropical fruit! 
4/ Island turtle chilling on island time.

We also stayed in a lodge near the Volcano and we visited the Jaggar Museum at night to see the lava but it was difficult to get some nice photos with my little point and shoot. 

We also went kayaking to Kealakekua Bay which was INCREDIBLE. We were lucky enough to see some dolphins who put on a show for us! We didn't get much of it on film, but they do make an appearance in my video here.

On to Oahu we go...
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